


What Not to Think of When You Are a Mutant Turtle

by C_Syns



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Infanticide, mentions of animal death, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_Syns/pseuds/C_Syns
Summary: April gives Raphael a little something to think about. And think about.And think about.
Relationships: April o'neil & Raphael, Frankenfoot & Raphael, Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	What Not to Think of When You Are a Mutant Turtle

“So I’ve been reading about turtles.” April said, the moment she walked into Raph’s room.

“Oh hey, what are you doing here.”

“Me and Donnie are gonna go to an internet cafe that just opened up. He’s still getting ready, since he assumes that his stuff here is better. He needs to pack half his lab to take with him.

“His stuff is probably better.”

“I know but that’s not the point.”

“Okay what’s the point?”

“How not like turtles you guys are. I can’t imagine you being calm and placid, even if you are in the water. Or eating turtles.”

“Eating turtles?” 

“Oh yeah like 70? 75% of snapping turtles have turtles in their stomachs when they’re caught? Killed? I dunno I was just sort of skimming. I can’t imagine you eating another turtle.”

“Well I’m a turtle man.”

“How old are you?”

“...15. Turtle boy, whatever April.”

“I know, it’s just weird to read about a turtle that you are and read something so different that you.”

“Yeah well. Most turtles aren’t ninjas raised by a famous movie star.”

“Good point.” The two of them looked at the door to Raph room as they heard Donnie shout.

“April, come on you are holding us up!”

April rolled her eyes.

“He takes 20 minutes to get ready after I’m here and I’m holding us up. Gotta go, bye Raph.” She hugged Raph and ran out to join Donnie.

“Huh. That is weird. Turtle cannibalism.” Raph shook his head, laid down on his bed, and went back to his Rubix cube.

That night he still lay in his head, cube forgotten and still unfinished next to him as he stared straight up at the ceiling.

“Come on, you’re not some dumb animal Raphie, you’re not gonna eat your brothers.” He muttered to himself.

“You would have done it as a kid, when you were more wild. Not now.” He says, to himself “if you were gonna do it.”

‘Yeah,’ whispered back that little voice in his head ‘but what if you’ve just never been hungry enough?’ Raph turned over on his side, flooding the pillows of his ears and head, as if they could make a voice inside himself be quiet.

‘What if one day you were though? And Donnie has a soft shell, it’d be so easy. You can bite so hard.’

Raph sat up and left his room to go to the garage, he moved quietly past the other doors in the lair as he went. In the garage he knocked on the door to the former closet, current bedroom of Frankenfoot. Mickey had put up a hammock for the paper ninja, even though he didn’t really sleep. Raph found Frankenfoot laying in the hammock, looking up at the ceiling.

“Hey buddy.” Raph whispered. Buddy sprang up

“BUDDY!” He shouted. Raph shushed him and put a finger over where a mouth would be on an actual person.

“Everyone is asleep so we gotta be quiet.” Frankenfoot nodded, happily

“Okay so no big noises and no throwing each other, try to get the bandana.” Frankenfoot nodded and they each stood in front of their manikins. Mikey had insisted they make one for Franken-foot, and ii was round, had paper stapled to it in a manic non-pattern, with a green bandana on its head.

They circled each other, eyeing up both the manikins and each other. Franken-foot moved first, hopping forward and swiping at Raphael. Raph jumped back, grabbing Frankfoots wrist and redirecting him, pushing him away from the red bandana wearing manakin. Frankenfoot bellowed and Raph stopped in his tracks.

“Shhh.” He hissed, looking around. He didn’t hear anything in the rest of the lair. Frankenfoot tackled him. His shell thudded against the floor and he winced. 

“Okay hold on hold on.” He whispered, grabbing Frankenfoots hands “I don’t think you can be quiet Buddy.” Frankenfoots face fell, his eyes filled with emotion.

“Hey! Don’t be sad, it’s great you’re loud, just not right now. Time and a place and that’s not now and here.” Raph patted Frankenfoots head and picked himself, and the paper ninja up. 

“We’ll spar tomorrow morning okay?” He got a very happy nod in return.

Raph put Frankenfoot back in his former tiny closet/bedroom and sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

“Well that was a bust.” He turned and left the garage.

Outside it was Mikey, blinking and squinting, in his pajamas.

“What are you doing up?”

“I dunno Raph I heard a ruckus from the room above mine so I came to see what was in it?” He said.

“Oh, sorry.”

“What are you doing up?”

“Oh it’s nothing.”

Mikey grabbed Raphs shoulders and stared up at him.

“I would reconsider that answer, since someone woke me up and I’m tired and annoyed and looking for answers.” He said, grinning, but not nicely or kindly.

“April told me about snapping turtle cannibalism and now that’s all I can think about.” Raph said, instantly.

Mikey sighed.

“I told her reading about that was a bad idea.”

“You told her.”

“Well we were looking up actual turtle videos, because turtles are cute. And we found one called ‘Box Turtle Cannibal Infantcide’ and we both sat there, looking at the title, waiting for someone to click it. Because there was no way we weren’t going to.” Mikey made a face, a wide-eyed, disgusted face. “It was something.”

“Why would you watch that?”

Mikey shrugged.

“And one thing led to another and we were reading about turtle cannibalism.”

“So it’s your fault.”

“Oh, Raph, don’t worry. We all know if it came down to cannibalism you’d be the first to go and be eaten.”

“What?”

“Think about it. We’re lost, on the oceans. No food, no water. It's been weeks, and Donnie finally says it. That we should draw straws and the loser is turtle soup. You immediately pick up the straws and throw them over the side because you’re not letting it be us and you’re first.”

Raph thought about it, stroking his chin.

“That does sound like me.”

“Yeah, next time, if we’re still on the ocean, I get the short straw, but Leo can’t do it and volunteers. Then it’s me and Donnie and he goes nuts, and grabs me with his battle shell metal arms, but he can’t do it either and I float into shore two weeks later, haunted for the rest of my life!”

“You know. That does sound like how it would go down. How much thought did you put in that.”

“April helped. But I dunno like 15 minutes of thought?”

“You know I was thinking about being a cannibal so much I forgot I should worry about you three, cause you’re all vicious and would absolutely get me first.” Raph said, throwing an arm around Mikey’s shoulders, and pulling him into a one armed hug.

“Don’t worry you always have me to remind you.”

“Thanks Mikey!” Raph picked Mikey up to put him back in his hammock, before going back to bed himself, content, relaxed, and forgetting all about turtle cannibalism.

**Author's Note:**

> Turtle info is always interesting huh?


End file.
